Responsibility

I can’t decide whether or not to be the charity director for the S.E.S.S. this year. Technically there is an application process, but no one has applied (the position would normally have been filled at the end of last year). Since I’ve expressed an interest I’ve been strongly encouraged to assume the position. However, I have strong reservations about my own ability to do this. My failure to do anything as the Club Greystone web coordinator last year still haunts me and I’m afraid to step into a position of responsibility after failing so badly at one last year. My anxiety is aggravated by the fact that this fall I’ll be taking five classes (with two labs) instead of four, all of them serious engineering or physics classes. I already have trouble coping with school (hence the reduced class load).

On the other hand I did enjoy at least part of the work last year and I could arrange for other people to do the work I didn’t enjoy this year. I know that I like project work where the task as a distinct beginning, middle, and most importantly, end. I also like the fact that this work is raising money for good causes like EWB. I know that if I do a good job of organizing something it’s normally better than the job done by the average person, but if I can’t handle a task it falls flat on its face.

I should really make this decision soon because if I accept the position I’ll be months behind in planning as it is. Once again I find myself wondering if I’ll actually be able to make it through life without collapsing into myself.